5/13/09

Five Secret Lesbian Movies

Ever watch a movie and think...wow...this totally reeks of lesbianism but was not billed as such? Yeah. Me too. 

1. Muriel's Wedding: outcast and loser Muriel meets bad-ass hip high school friend on vacation...they perform ABBA karaoke and move in together. Muriel, who has clearly been brainwashed into heteronormativity, still dreams of a white wedding and ends up marrying an athlete who is using her to get citizenship. Not to give away the ending, but it's the two girls who drive off together, which segues nicely into...

2. Thelma and Louise: is there really any explanation needed? Susan Sarandon said in The Celluloid Closet that their meaningful glance/hand-grasp immediate pre-cliff-leap should have been, or at least symbolized, a kiss. 

3. Gold Diggers: random 90's family movie with lil' lezzies in the making! New good girl in town (Christina Ricci) meets "tomboy" and outcast played by that girl from My Girl. They go on adventures that turn almost life-threatening, and end up happily ever after, and rich! 

4. The Children's Hour: two women (Audrey Hepburn and Shirley Maclaine) who run a small private school are accused of "indecent acts." It's crazy that words like 'lesbian' or 'homosexuality' are never mentioned, but for its time it was...quite something. Apparently, the actresses didn't even discuss the lesbian nature of the plot off-screen. 

5. Fried Green Tomatoes: I actually kind of hate this movie (the train scene scarred me for life as a child) but how did they NOT hook up? 

Others of note, which I leave to your interpretation: A League of Their Own, Terms of Endearment, Thirteen and Welcome to the Dollhouse. 

5/1/09

Witness THIS!

Kelly McGillis has come out as a lesbian at age 51! Ballin'! 

Reporters (who are all over this 'story' because when a celebrity is a lesbian it's breaking news) keep referring to her as "Top Gun actress Kelly McGillis." Aren't The Accused and Witness just as important and much more memorable? Top Gun blows. But I guess to be fair, the average American has probably seen it...and may not have heard of the other two...

Speaking of Witness, I found this hilarious little musical tribute. Who makes these things? (It really heats up around 3:17.) Incredible movie. Murder, barn-raising' and more Amish hijinks, and a genuinely sensitive and personal love affair. Plus an all-star supporting cast including Danny Glover, Patti LuPone and Viggo Mortensen in his first role. Amazing, if you can get beyond the completely absurd and implausible premise.